A Whole New World

Yups, guys...am back again.....I don't know, what keeps me away from something I love so much....oh! yes, it is the BITCH, called, time...that eats into all my precious time.

A lot has happened, over the last few months and I seriously want to share my happiness with all of you, whom I consider to be my true wellwisher. All that I have always wished for, longed for has at last come true. I actually made through the world infested with men of all shapes and sizes, the so called, 'Corporate World'....and thankfully the win-win situation being that I made into one of the companies of repute and securing myself the profile, I most enjoy, as a 'Content Writer'. Life since then has changed a lot, and yes for the better too:).

It never struck me that writing can be so full of fun, till I started looking at it the way I am made to....It's quite unbelievable the gamut of talented and creative writers and graphic designers our company brags of and who develop the most unique of E-learning courses for the so called happening corporate companies.....We all know that teaching adult students is indeed a difficult task, taking into consideration that they are usually averse to change and adopting new things. Infact, one would be left amazed at the simplicity and the novel way we impart education to these matured brains by means of stories and games, thereby paving way into the pages of E-learning history :).

Last weekend, I had a brush with the glamor world of the Ad industry....so different from the serious and sombre IT world, I dwell in. The loud music with women to the dance numbers in their bold outfits, and wearing their no-nonsense attitude; bars overlowing with the best of drinks, and more crowd happily huddled around it than those seated in their chairs; loud whistles, continous applause, and above all loud shrieks to cheer those being honored with the prestigious awards, had indeed left me all awed, at the grand affair that I was a witness to......

As I wonder, with all the luxuries that lay at my disposal, why can't I make the most of it?....where do my waking hours disappear? what's the thing that I have lost forever, now?......and then reality stares back at my face with the answer, I have never thought of...."TIME".... the time, I used to savor pursuing things I love the most, time I used to enjoy listening to music, writing poem and above all in the company of my loved ones.....then I wonder, should I crib and grumble??? coz that's the only and the easiest way I can console myself....and besides, come on, that's human nature, isn't it????...then jolting myself out of this disguted feeling.....I keep my spirits all buouyed with the thought, that thankfully the weekends are there at my service still....keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the two days of freedom are not sacrificed at the holy altar of my company :D, I happily wade through the drab and mundane days of my new and happening corporate life.

Open the Doors of Justice O Lord!

Oh! God why this injustice?.....why this pain, why these foolish tears just don't stop flowing? do I make sense what I am scribbling....do the ramblings of my mind make any sense? How do I care? How do I? Why should I? enough have I borne all this,I say it's enough, for God sake stop it, stop it I say :(
Though it's time to celebrate all the good things that's coming my way unasked for, why don't I feel any joy? ....why does my heart feel as hollow as ever, why does my heart ache, why do I curse myself yet find no respite? Why did you have to drag me into this dirty game thingy...why did you use me like a puppet to inflict so much of pain, for what good? I need an answer.....can't see him go through this excrutiating pain that eats into his very existence.....I demand justice God....Oh! please I beg of you Lord, stop playing dirty.....I am going off my mind....I soon would become deaf, blind and dumb for good....God redeeem him from his pains...I can't take it anymore.....I just can't.....what justice is this, I demand an explanation? If you had to bring him my way, then why this delay, where were you when I needed him? why did you take him away then? Just as you saw me taking a step forward you pulled the strings so strong that I can't even set myself free but get entangled in the very loop of it all.....it ties me down.....what for?
Why can't you see me happy, O Lord? Why can't you bring happiness our way? You bless the wolf with happiness in abundance and bleed us to death by tearing us apart, what for? Why?
I see his heart, his soul all gnarled with hatred and pain...but you don't give me strength enough to be unaffected seeing him suffer, it affects to the point that I feel like pulling your throne onto the earth and make you suffer along with us.....No you don't deserve to be praised, those are fools who offer you their prayer....they live in the make belief world you create just to smash them under your feet and then smile seeing them suffer.....I beg you Lord set him free, I beg you, I beg you LORD.... :(

My Journey To Happiness Galore

BIRTHDAY PIX on 22/09/06

IN OFFICE

TRIP TO BANGALORE IN OCT'06

ME WITH MY FRIENDS AT FLURY'S

THE DAY OF MY SWEET BRO'S FAREWELL ON 15/08/06

Adieu Lil Bro.....

I can’t believe it’s true. I can’t believe it’s time we let you fly from the warmth of the nest into the clear blue sky that sometimes may bring heavy showers or be too sunny thereby hurting your bright and tiny eyes. I can’t believe it’s time to bid you a heart-rendering goodbye and wish you luck with tearful eyes and happiness in our heart seeing you reach out to the world that awaits you.

I can’t believe I won’t have anyone to tease me, no more mom shouting at you for the pranks you play on her and dad having no one to give his long boring lectures on the wisdom of life (though useful ones)……no soul to bring that fresh breathe of air and joy immeasurable each time he enters the home, no light to wipe out the darkness that often takes us in its grasp through your jokes so silly or with your bright smile that lights up the heart of all who comes in contact with you. No one for me to shout at for his indisciplined ways of life, for his laid back attitude to life and envy for the delight he finds in the simple things of life. A friend who will be missed for the unselfish way he goes out of his way just to make them feel he will be there for them through thick and thin.

Any guesses whom I am talking about??? ……. Yes, if you are an old blogger then it won’t be hard to guess whom I am talking about. It’s my dear, darling lil brother, a real sweetheart just for the way he is. It’s time for him to leave home to pursue his higher studies, live his ambition and achieve what he deserves. My heart is weighed down by the sorrow of having to do without him and a myriad of emotions fills me as he packs his things to leave for his new life, far away from home. Today , as a proud sis I wish him luck and pray that he may have all his fondest dreams come true. Yes, it’s hard to leave him into this cruel world, for to me he still is my lil bro who knows not the ways of the world but I need to let him learn the ways of life so that he can grow into a matured and wise man. Mom needs to make herself stronger by showering her son with her blessings so that he grows into a winner, ready to combat all challenges of life with greater resolve. Dad’s words of wisdom that may have fallen to deaf ear for so long, now is the time to heed to them so that he can be a man of principles and earn the respect of one and all. He may fail for it is natural. Yet it is essential for it this is a lesson worth undergoing to help him realize that nothing in life comes easy, not even giving his best. Staying away from home he’ll realize that better things that are in store for him can be won only by hard work and lots of self belief.

Enough of gyan, now that my brother is out on his venture to find his place in this world and cut a niche for himself, life would taste bland back at home without the pinch of salt (the pranks he plays/ the white-lie he says), the spoon of sugar (his sweet charming smile) and the hot spices (the joy he pours into our life on all occasions) that makes life so delectable.

Nonetheless it’s a good way to enjoy all the attention for myself ;-) but hope so I’m not made a victim of all the scolding when mom and dad miss you badL ….. I’ll run to you then to save my life ???? ;-) you’ll become my savior, you my savior??? Am I going mad??? May be I am, out of too much of joy for all that awaits me :D…..what did you think dear I am sad….lol??? ;-)

The rise of the Phoenix

Hi all!!! I have re-surfaced again, and why wouldn’t I ? There was my world, my own dear blogging world beckoning me…. how could I afford to not pay heed to the call of my dear blog friends who were perhaps awaiting my return being bored reading my insane scraps again and again? The fact that they cared to leave comments on reading my article posted even after my 4 month long break without me inviting them proves that my absence hasn’t stopped my faithful blog friends from paying a visit to my blog. Words seem to be trivial to express how delighted I feel finding my friends waiting to welcome me back with open arms and read the scribblings of my mind.


Crestfallen, lost in my world of insanity and oblivious to what had belittled me to a mere figure of flesh and bones, blood flowing down my eyes as tears made useless efforts to wash away all pain that lay hid in the bottomless chasm called "heart" , which though exists physically failed to make an impression of its existence spiritually, I tread back to my humble home in search of what I had lost, “Myself”. The familiar world lay unknown before my eyes, searching for some sign of recognition in the blank expression that spread across my face. Looking out of my window I saw the whole world flit pass me leaving me helpless, as I lay at a loss of strength to keep pace with the moving world that seemed unconcerned about my suffering whatsoever. Then came the loving embrace of the all loving, unselfish figure, my father. Losing myself in the warmth and fuzzy feeling of comfort, security and above all love I settled down to making myself content with what I have in life and not ponder on what I don’t or have lost, may be forever.


Then began the most important part of my trial. Search of my identity. Sometimes finding it in the weak people’s means of escape, drowned myself in glasses of vodka till my head would feel heavy with too much of it, prompting me to stop being impulsive and in turn weighing me down with a heart so heavy that it would all grow numb and feelings of pain lie repressed . It would make me break into fits of laughter interrupted by moments of tears uncontrolled. Often it made me fall into the vicious bait of the beasts that waited on the sly to make me their prey and dig their teeth into my soft flesh . For days I'd come back home all sloshed yet pretending to be all fine for fear of hurting those who care for me back home, who waited anxiously for my safe return. Selfish I grew with each passing day, till the day when my best friend with tearful eyes begged and my parents with face reflected the pain they were enduring, afraid of losing me completely. Sitting upright on my bed sleepless, clueless, helpless where my life was leading me, perhaps to a dead end road, pills seemed to be the only solace, but for what? For a single night’s peaceful sleep. Talking helped and love helped me to heal slowly so that I could take life into my stride once again. Severing all ties with people I knew, turning a deaf ear to words overflowing with words of concern and eyes brimming with sympathy for the pitiable soul I had turned into, I shook myself out of the cocoon and looked up at life hoping to find one more chance to live life, this time for "myself".


The bright day atlast arrived on 1st of June, when I happened to attend an interview and made it through unexpectedly winning myself the coveted job of a content writer in the leading American e-card company. Thrilled to find my way that for so long seemed to be a dead end I took up the challenge to live up to my expectation and be rewarded with what I deserve. My newly found loving and fun-loving friends began filling my life with cheer and brightness and life once again turned out to be kind. The vibe that I began sharing with them made me believe the proverb that “every cloud has a silver lining” and that I could feel it influencing my life in a positive way. Stronger and optimistic I begin to look at life again, ready to combat the obstacles that on and off comes my way for I know I have been given this new life by those who care, to show that the cruel life may not be a bed of roses but it’s definitely not all thorns as well. May be what has happened has been to make me realize what I myself know not, of what I am capable….…to realize my potential to live through all odds. I feel like the phoenix born out of ashes. Like the new born I too am christened, not with the holy shower but with the wisdom of life.


Nevertheless, I cannot turn a blind eye to my Muse, who in the form of a dear friend has been the prime reason for my return to this blogging world. Who had been inspirational in the writing of this post, always believing in the creative me that lay within me in its latent form. A Muse in human form who has helped me tread back to my loving blogging world, to do what I most love, try creating magic with simple words and filling it with potent expression.

Me Back With A Bang !!!

For the time being friends enjoy the recent photos clicked with my new friends in my office in Kolkata :-D ....... see I look so Happy

Nothing original

I tried hard and got out of what shit I was in but some girl's entrance into my life has again pushed my life into a worse state than it ever has been..............naive and innocent she tried to be all along...........all I can say that I don't know how I'm still alive coz the stupid step I took tis monday...........but something prevented me from finding the respite I always have ben desiring and more after what that *B.....* did by her acts (no girl would tolerate it) , proving me that all the time that I acted stupid and possessive was *RIGHT*, never wrong in my interpretation, like a soothsayer seeing it approach everyday, with my eyes open wide to the reality .................I guess she is the most unhappy soul finding me still living............but guess its coz that somewhere there must be someone who cares for me immensely...............no friends! don't worry am not here to wallow in sorrow coz this time it is far beyond all emotions, I guess only God can bear all that shit......................so finding myself still lying in a bottomless ditch, no way able to gather myself..........I truly can't give myself to expressing in words and feel unhappy too that you all who care are worried about me so here comes a few funny forwards to cheer you guys and make let you know that ashmi is not here to dump her grief on you guy's shoulder but to share happiness :))

HR policies of the top IT company

Dear Staff,

Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

TRANSPORTATION:

A) It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
B) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
C) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
D) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

ANNUAL LEAVE:

Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wooow!). They are called Sunday.

LUNCH BREAK:

A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

SICK DAYS:

We will no long! er accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

TOILET USE:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
A) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
B) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders"category.
C) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.

SURGERY:

As long as you ! are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

INTERNET USAGE:

All personal internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. (note: Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection).Just for the record. 73% of the staff will not be entitled to any salary for the next 3 months as their internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

English Around The World:

In a Bangkok temple:

"IT IS FORBIDDEN T O ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER,
IF DRESSED AS A MAN."

Cocktail lounge , Norway:

"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

Doctor's office, Rome:

"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:

"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."

In a Nairobi restaurant:

"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

On a poster in Kenya:

"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."

On an Athi River highway (this is the main road to Mombasa) leaving Nairobi .

"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."

In a City restaurant :

"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."

A notice seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:

"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."

In a cemetery:

"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."

A Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

In a Tokyo bar:

"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."

Hotel, Yugoslavia :

"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

Hotel, Japan :

"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ON UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Hotel, Zurich:

"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."

In a Swiss mountain inn:

"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

A laundry in Rome:

"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."

Hope you all loved the post which has nothing original composition but a small collection of forwards one of my colleague sent me to cher me up!!!

:-D ...............Stay happy, coz that's how I want to see all my friends :)

YEAH I AM ALL RIGHT

Oh! yes, you've all the right to hurt both of us

Oh! yes, you've all the right to turn a deaf ear to all I say

Oh! yes, you've every right to think what is best for both of us

Oh! yes, you are most welcome to call me a "possesive bitch"

Oh! yes, you have all the freedom to chose your path to happiness

Oh! yes, you're infallible in your interpretation that you've been right and me always a misfit for you

Oh! yes, you are most welcome to say that you would never be mine, no matter how much I am willing to change myself, just for your sake.

Oh! yes, you have all the liberty to live life devoid of me, in complete peace

Oh! yes, you have everything you desire and wish for and me clinging on to nothing, not even the last spec of hope.

Oh! yes, you can already start searching a good, matured,intelligent,*not* possesive bride for you.

Oh! yes, you can still get all my love and give me nothing in return.

Oh! yes, go ahead and find your haven, your bliss, your source of solace and peace that lies not in me:*possessive bitch*

Oh! yes, all I can do is wallow in sorrow and blame it all on you

Oh! yes, I'm THE ONE AT FAULT, why am I blaming you for not being mine???

Oh! yes, I did never deserve you, there'll be a million who will die a thousand times for you(how foolish of me to think it differently)

Oh! yes, how dare I say all this? It's all over and no way I can have you back into my life

Oh! yes, what a weakling, a woman without a grain of self respect, who loves staying blind to all that's staring right at her face.

Oh! yes, you are no stupid to fall for an erratic, crazy, insane girl so lost in her love for you, coz it would never work out.

Oh! yes, it's all over you said it that day, in the midst of all "you would never marry me", oh never spend the rest of your life in the sickeningly loving embrace of the *possesive bitch*

Oh! yes, I need to find a way out of all I fail to do at work, accomplish what I should, performing what's expected.

Oh! yes, I should shut up and listen to all that my head says(for a change) and make an end to my existence.....

Oh! yes, I can't act brave and practical, it's you or no one, what a smart way to think? but I don't even seem to mind being claimed the opposite, if you all do that way feel.

Oh! yes, wish there was someway I could make myself turn back time and return you all those precious time you wasted in my company.

Oh! yes, I need no blogger to peep into my site and report the same to him, I'm no coward and what worse can I expect than what's happened? Bring me a lion, I can face it all.

Oh! yes, I love living in misery, love to complain and nag you all and above all *him*

Oh! yes, please I don't want you guys to show pity or sympathy and tell me I'm pathetic, do you all need to make me realise that?.... I know it already.

Oh! yes, I've lost all hope, all faith, all that was never mine, never meant to be.

Oh! yes, I'm not going to apologise to you all for writing an impulsive, utter shit, no I won't.

Oh! yes, and I'll live only till I choose to do so, selfish! I am, not caring a damn about people who might shed a tear, by chance.

Oh! yes, my life is sadly useless without your presence, can you change it? no you can't.....I'm the way I want.

Oh! yes, I still will be by your side just as you said you always would, only me with a lil spec of relentless expectation that's gonna choke me to death someday.

Oh! yes, you would never see pain as long as my prayers are for you and you as noble hearted as ever, bearing with each bit of me all this while.

Oh! yes, I'll see no miracle happen for it occurs only to those who deserve it, me not included in that divine list.

Oh! yes, move on and find yourself a soulmate , be happy, don't look back, not even once, by mistake and make yourself miserable in consequence.

Why me???

It's the time for me to be happy, jumping with joy coz he will be back to India after his month long trip from US :-D ..... and all those long sighs will soon disappear into thin air and no more I have to spend weekdays just thinking what I will do over the weekend and call and beg colleagues to accompany me to a movie or shopping..... It's time for celebration....but what's this???...... why pull me again into all that I've been running away from....trying so hard to hide it from all..... disclosing only to all you, strangers( now my dear friends) coz I feel comfortable laying my heart bare to you and living in anonymity.....

Yesterday, it happened so I was chatting with one of my very old friend of my home town, Kolkata and whilst chatting he happened to blurt out that most unwanted question during a really engaging conversation ....I'll give you a few extracts from the long conversationwe had:

"there is one rumour making its round here that you and W have broken up?....is it true?.....it's hard to believe coz (bla,bla,bla....)", " I heard it from some strange source who I don't know but who knows you...(bla, bla,bla)"...... " Eh, Ash, you better be on gaurd, coz I got to know that there is some guy who knows you and is all geared to try his luck on you coz (pay attn to the reason...it'll make one fly with rage) ...... you are alone there and he thinks you are sad and lonely after the break up, so perhaps will try to shower his sympathy, the easy way a guy would win over a girl....(bla, bla, bla) " and then today, a mail from one of my Mr. Perfect's friend stating the same thing and asking the validity of the rumour and asking me to be on guard..... Oh why all this :( ....

I tried so hard to cover the wound that hurts even when the soft breeze blows over it, but alas! all my effort seem to be in vain. Why can't people stay happy with themselves? why make other's life so miserable? what pleasure lies in other's pain? It seems to have become a hot news, a news spreading like wild fire..... but why? how can people be so insensitive? how jobless, why can't they mind their own business? don't they know how it affects those souls who are still not out of it all? I am so disgusted that I feel like publishing it all as headlines in the newspaper and distribute it among all those curious souls whose appetite will be appeased by nothing short of "spicy" gossip .... and then I out of the blue received 2 mails from some stranger, rather a despo who wants to be my net friend, giving away all his details like phone no. and email address and having the audacity to say " hope you won't dissapoint me"..... are girls so easily convinced to share their details with a stranger? perhaps it is so otherwise how could someone do such thing of leaving a personal mail like that?

Seem to hate eveything, everone around me why I have to be the prey of all those heart rendering questions about our break up?NO one asks him......why me? In India, no guy is found to be at fault in a break up, the finger points towards the girl alone, even if she is dumped,"sad" truly "sad".... and how dare someone think me to be a pitiable creaure? can they measure and feel even half the suffering I'm going through even so many months after me being left, to be on my own..... but I'm afraid to unlock my feelings here too coz there may be someone reporting,what I'm writing here, to my Mr. Perfect or best to the whole world and have a laugh..... incorrigible, it sucks!!!

Whatever, I need to get at the root of all this rumour, sorry the "TRUTH" of who is taking delight in making my life all the more difficult.....Whatever, don't want to leave on a bad note, so 3 cheers to my W, who will be back tomorrow morning and me happy and content in his company, in the lil bit I get of him :) :) :)

POST MEANT FOR ALL THOSE WHO DISLIKE MUSH AND ROMANCE!!!

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most
romantic first line but least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed (pissed in England
means drunk)

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you really screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away

What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Hope you all liked this post coz I found it to be hilarious......this was forwarded to me by my collaegue as I was feeling very low for reasons......to be posted in next post :-)

INTERESTING TAGGED LIST!!!

HEY TRUE BLUE GUY!!!.....your tagged list....don't know whether other's gonna enjoy but you have to ;-)

Me, not falling into the "other" group, the sex target is ahem .... a guy ofcourse:

8 vital things that I search for in a perfect lover are -

• Intelligence
• Sense of humour
• Caring and understanding nature
• Loyal
• Ambitious
• Respect me and my family ( my family is a very important part of my life)
• Love me the way I am with all my flaws ( perhaps love me more than I do)
• Short with bright eyes ( Oh! yes, I have a fascination for short men :-)

And yes, I believe I've already found my lover, perfect he may not be in all respects ( who is perfect anyways? ) ... nonetheless I adore him the way he is :-) ... and guess what its so much fun being that "imperfect lover".... you always have a ready excuse to give, each time you're blamed for some foolish mistake ;-)

Now comes the best part of it....hmmmm....the tagging business. The list is here below :-)

• Amit
• Apoorv
• Sonu
• Erikku
• Jedi
• Niv
• Nabeel
• Voices in my head

Will be waiting for your tagged list dear ;-) ... so make it fast.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT !!!

Recently, I happened to watch a very interesting movie titled “15 Park Avenue” , by the ingenious director, Aparna Sen, who as always has met out justice to the thought provoking script. In this movie she treats the subject of a schizophrenic with due sensitivity. The thread of the story is not allowed to run loose and has been well knit to add potency and intensity to the complex plot. What I liked best about the movie is the climax… its so moving, so very bewildering… it raises many a question in one’s mind. Infact, it is my interpretation of the movie that I have tried to bring forth in this post.



What is madness? …can its meaning be really contained in a particular phrase or defined in words? Is their a yardstick to measure it? … what might seem madness to you, might be of paramount importance to the person concerned. Often you’ll find the idiosyncratic behaviour of a person being deemed as madness by others who can’t relate to that feeling or mannerism. That isn’t fair at all!



I’ve often seen quiet child being thought to be an abnormalcy, why so? … it may be the constitution of his character. No one has the right to claim someone abnormal or mad coz he doesn’t abide by certain norms set by us( who proclaim to be wise and sane ).



Today, what may seem as normal may dwindle into abnormalcy a few years from now. In the present world who can imagine a life without a regrigerator, t.v. or even a microwave oven? … but if you don’t happen to possess any of them, would you call it madness? … if you found an old woman peeping into her box every now and then just to ensure that those toys her kids played with is safe , would you claim her to be crazy?… if you found a man happily playing with his dog in the broad daylight, would you call him insane?… would you call a lady who stayed awake all night, waiting for her husband’s return to have dinner with him, as lunatic?… I wouldn’t. If all such simple daily acts prompt us to pass a callous remark or make judgements on his behavioral, then I would suggest we better shed our pride and look deep inside ourselves. Each of us, at one point of time may have acted foolish or crazy. Perhaps for a movie, over a match, a dress you yearned to have or even do a stupid thing like trying to catch up on sleep by shutting yourself in a dark room in the broad daylight ( he!he! I’ve done that so many times ;-) … so next time you call anyone crazy think twice and ponder a 100 times on the last time you’ve acted a bit not like your normal self.
People nowadays, are so obsessed with themselves that they conveniently turn a blind eye to their shortcomings while for the same call others name.



Yes, madness has no specified form. It may be aroused due to a motley of emotions. Thus came such phrase as “mad with rage”, “crazy in love” , “mad with grief” , “nuts about you/it” , “ I’m going bonkers ” , “such a paranoid!” , “screw dhila” ( it’s a popular hindi phrase denoting crazy ), “ is she insane?” , “ridiculous!” and list goes on. Think how often you may have used such phrase never realizing its essence. You might be wondering what the heck, if you have… but next time you plan to pass a remark, be wise to judge the person … coz often he may be sensitive and not so pragmatic as you all and the passing remark may leave behind a deep-rooted wound in him, which may slowly eat into his core and shatter his entire existence.



P.S. This actually prompts me to also remind you of one of my post that i had written long back. It was called " I love my insanity, I love it all" ...if you are keen you can read it...a poem written in rhapsody.

MY "NEMO"

Oh! since the time I've watched the wonderful movie called "Finding Nemo" at one of my colleague's place, I've been so obssessed with the character called "Nemo"... he is such a sweetheart, an absolute darling... wish I could actually have a pet fish like that... but alas! I don't even own an aquarium.

I've always used to be glued to the t.v. screen or make it a point to book the tickets, well in advance when an animation movie would be announced to be released soon. Don't know why I seem to love that beautiful, imaginary world of theirs. The way they converse and behave makes me roll in laughter. It makes me feel happy beyond expression. I guess there are very few animation movies that I might have missed(quite unfortunately). The artists who create these fascinating animated figures, can almost be deemed as god, coz these characters seem to live in a euphoric world ... as well as bestowing us with that feel of ecstasy.

The movie " Finding Nemo" is about a clown fish called, Marlin and his dear son, Nemo who gets lost in the sea and how the father battles against all odds just to find his son back. The emotions in the movie are very sincere, the dialogues touching, the humour would make your sides split with laughter and the picturisation is simply... breathtaking. A complete package of undiluted entertainment... No wonder the movie was awarded with the Oscars for " Best original sreenplay ", " Best original score " and " Best sound editing " in 2003.... you know what?... I actually was so desperate to watch the movie that I had planned to watch the movie 3 days before my exams, before my final M.A. exam was about to commence. Despite all the shouting I got from my mom, I ventured out with one of my close friends, to watch the movie(first day show)...but as destiny would have it came back home disheartened with all shows running house full :-( ... repentent I was till 6th of January ( the D day) when I finally was lucky to view the movie and have a good time after ages, perhaps. If you enjoy watching animation movies like me and feel interested to know more about the movie then please don't delay in visiting the website : http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/nemo

On sunday too I was lucky to watch another animated movie called " Sinbad: Legend of the seven seas " over Star movies, along with W and trust me we actually were so hooked to the t.v. that we opted out of going for a nice dinner and ordered it at home, instead.

Oh! I can give you a long list of animated movies I've watched. To name a very few that I remember are :

1. Bug's life
2. Toy Story
3. Alladin
4. Shrek
5. The Incredibles
6. Lion King
7. Beauty and the Beast
8. Brother Bear

" Madagascar", " Shark Tale" and " Chicken Little " are presently on my priority list .... Hope I would be able to catch up on them soon and post all the excitement I'd have watching them
:-D .... If you have any favourite animation movie that you would like to talk about please do so .... I'm waiting !!! ;-)

I thought of posting a few pics of mine on the blog coz they seem to be a lil decent ones....as I'm not photogenic at all I hate clicking pics but these seem fairly good by my standards ;-)

• The first picture is with a very close friend of mine in my previous organisation.
• The second picture is with my darling friend, Sonia (doesn't she look gorgeous ?) in my lil room...excuse me if it looks a lil dull,nevertheless I love it :-)
  
• The third pic clicked by my colleague while I was leaving for work,quite surreptitiously... Hapily lost I look in the pic... perhaps coz that was the last day at my previous organisation ;-)
• The last pic taken at Forum with all my close colleagues of my previous organisation the day before I left for Kolkata for my vacations, no wonder I'm beaming with all joy... look at me giving that colgate smile :-D he!he!
  

Simple words with profound meaning

It was just yesterday that I was thinking about so many words that we use often, perhaps without realising their significance or effect on each of our daily lives and those interacting with us. Recently there are a lot of words that bother me and perplex me because I find it difficult to understand the relevance of it in my life... they seem to be losing its meaning or perhaps its significance... words they may be but their effect on me is great and profound. Some of them I have listed and interpreted it in my own humble way.

• Love : Heard this from my granny ... " Loving someone means finding happiness in that of your dear one's "... this definition seems so sublime and the perfect one that I don't seem to have any other to replace it.

I also believe in another definition of love, which goes something like this : loving someone means never letting your beloved shed a drop of tear coz your tears are precious. So one who makes you cry means he/she doesn't love you enough for they don't value those precious pearls that flow down your eyes onto the hard stony floor.

Loving someone also means when living without someone is more difficult than living with someone... ( trust me its very true...distance makes the heart grow fonder, not proximity )

Loving someone means never having to say to how much you sacrificed or compromised, but accepting the way he/she is... ( best example are our parents who love us although we might be weak and ugly, loving without expectation...the most unselfish love on earth ) .

• Peace : How do you define it?... I feel peace lies within you, it lies in self contentment ... it lies in absolute faith in God ... fools search for peace in the ephemeral world of ours... look within !

• Self- respect : I've heard many a times and more so now that men can live without anything but not without a self respect... its only when one loves and values oneself that one would pose worthwhile in the eyes of all ... But does it ever happen that one loses sight of this perspective and pay no heed to it having surrendered to love eternal? ... is it wrong?... don't know ! I'm confused coz I seem to forget its essence when faced by one so dear to me, all willing to surrender.

• Happiness : My dad always said and I believe it blindly ... happiness lies within oneself, not in things surrounding... no doubt some people find happiness when they have nothing at all and some find sorrow despite having all... wish I could find it in the lil beauties of life ... I sometimes feel I still am that small kid who finds joy in trifle matters like having chocolates, icecreams or perhaps even watching cartoon network :-D

• Trust : Very easy to lose but hard to gain it back ... It takes years to build and seconds to fall apart ...what is blind trust?... does it exist in the reality? ... a simple word that binds lives innumerable...

• Forgiveness : I've read the bible many a times in my school days but never realised the importance of this word untill now... a very powerful act which people with great hearts can perform ... you all must be familiar with the phrase " forgive and forget ". Wish people practised it in their life then life would perhaps seemed a lil less harsh and unjust... I've found it easier to forgive but hard to forget... wish I could be a better human being and forget them too...perhaps no one is greater than the Almighty.

• Hatred : This is as powerful an emotion as love ... If you ever say your enemy you hate him that means he/she affects you. So the best way to deal with them is ( not bother yourself with emotions so vile and damaging that does more harm than good )to prove that they are not even worth that emotion ( why bother yourself with emotions so vile and damaging that does more harm than good )... often you hate them whom you happen to have loved the most too ... I too happen to be consumed in this powerful emotion and hope can rise above this petty, self destructive emotion which I bear for that soul.

These are the very few emotions or words that I confront daily in my life at present ... the meaning of many seem ambiguous, vague, baffling... the significance of which I still am unable to identify and seldom forget to relate.

Do you have a better definition of the words I find difficult to comprehend? are there any words in your list which you like to talk about?... please do so, I'm here to listen and read :-)

HOME SWEET HOME !!!

Yeh! am home since 21st,december (wednesday) and life has been nothing short of fun,frolic and excitement. The moment I stepped out of the train into the buzzing platform I found my dad,my brother and all my cousins waiting to welcome me... I felt like a princess... then as I stepped into my house the phone just wouldn't stop ringing as all had been informed that I was coming and as I recieved the calls,voices so full of joy greeted me and invitations started pouring in...Then began the session of me being pampered...Mom cooking all my favourite non-veg dishes, dad buying me all my favorite music cds, brother as usual teasing me and repeating time and again "I can't believe you've grown so slim,what happened to my baby ele sis? "letting me have the best blanket ...cousins huddling around me to hear me tell them about the life in Bangalore and all things glamourous ( coz they've always known that Bangalore is full of hot babes and cool guys and above all the coolest place to be in )...friends calling me to meet me and then we spending hours together in a restaurant catching up on the most happening news and gossip (though they still grumble that my disinterest in girl gossip still irritates them)...then all their amazement seeing no change in me ( coz they predicted I perhaps might have airs coz many of the other friends who have left Kolkata fo job purpose has come back so much changed ).... Oh! the day I took my younger brother and all my sweet lil younger cousins out for dinner was so much fun coz I acted less like an elder sister and let them have whatever they demanded, in one word I just enjoyed pampering them... but you should have seen how much my brother hogged ( man!it seemed he was determined to leave me broke )... and then the shopping with my cousin who has come down from England...God spare everyone when she and aunt are on a shopping spree, they hop into every shop and spend thousands in no time...buying whatever appeals to their eye... then visiting my university and college to collect my postgraduation certificate left me nostalgic... walking through the corridoor and then up the broad staircase,seeing young faces so full of life and enthusiasm brought back those sweet old memories ... one of them,finding me so lost even asked me whether i was knew and was more than willing to assist me, I smiled to that and I guess it said it all coz she left me on my own saying " I thought you are new " (perhaps people think me young coz of my height )...and yeh! yesterday's lunch invitation at one of my close friend's place made me feel like I've come back after ages... her dad cooked such wonderful dishes that I couldn't help hogging and ending up over-eating....met W in the evening for coffee as he is in town too and the day seemed so perfect


But then happened something that seemed to wipe away all the delight and joy that seemed to be mine... last night once again he proved I value less and he just loves doing what to me is wrong... late night talking to a stranger, his blog friend " Camphor " but lying that he was on a call with some other friend... in moments my life seemed to go topsy turvy and I was left hurt again coz he hid and when he did finally say whom he was talking to... I was bothered with him exchanging phone numbers with people whom he doesn't know more than two months, existing as mere faceless people... but he again stated what place I hold in his life and I was left 1000times more hurt ( don't know why do I bother which stranger he is talking to?...giving him a chnace to call me possessive ) ... true,can I stop him from doing what he desires?...can I make him miss me?...can I make him see how I die to be with him or talk to him?... no I can never make him realise... he'll never realise... he would never... worst was when my dad found me lying in my bed like a piece of stone and see tears flow down my eyes... I know I'm very dear to him and my tears extremely precious, I know my dad's heart aches a million times more seeing my heart ache... but I just couldn't help.... today is a day of fun, enjoyment and all I gave my parents is nothing but sorrow and misery... shame on me, I can't even pretend to be happy even if my heart is breaking apart... selfish me... coz all the things my parents are doing just to make me happy seem to go unseen and in void , all I spend my time is ruminating in his thoughts ... I just don't find peace... no not even at home, restless, unhappy I lie in the corner of my room wishing all leave me and just be happy.... dad I wish I could say sorry to you for bringing tears in your eyes last night, dad wish I could erase out all those marks of serious concern seeing me so hurt.... I wish I could bring happiness... coz you all have made me feel so special since my arrival and always do whether I desire it or not...


Anyways,...enough of sad saga... must be really fed up with me... I'd advice you guys stop reading my blog... coz it seldom reflects happiness... Today I've no intention to make you all feel miserable reading my blog...


So here WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS ! MAY THIS DAY BRING ALL THE JOYS ON THE EARTH INTO YOUR LIFE.... HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! :-)

Multitude of emotions in a muffled mind ...

As I unlock the door, returning from office

An empty room welcomes me into a world of emotions.

Souless, silent though I find it, a thousand murmur troubles me,

Spik and span though my lil room lies, busy I get dusting the dirt I don't see.

Weary and weak I crash on my bed, for a lil rest, I close me eye,

Emotions varied crowd my mind, holding me down so, helpless I lie.

Loneliness and sorrow together chokes me, till I gasp for breathe, till my heart pounds fast,

Blurred seems the book that I read, how distant the music that for long doesn't last.

Breaking all shackles as I sit up to write, in torrents emotions pour down on me,

Sorrow, joy, pain, rage and many, feelings incomprhensible pushes me into a bottomless sea.

Swimming with all might against the strong current, I find in the end my efforts all in vain,

Crouching like a baby I lie in a corner, feeling the wound which time heals not, causing excrutiating pain.

Pain arising from not being forgiven, for a small mistake that you blew out of proportion,

Pain arising from you ignoring and seeing in those eyes for me no emotion.

Pain unbearable throws me into the pit of fire, the fire of betrayal and rage that I fear,

Consumed I am in the fire of rage, till it burns me to ashes that flow down as tear.

Rage that springs from you hiding and lying, rage that springs for treatment unjust,

Snubbing, shouting, indifferent and laughing at my love so true, beyond all time's power to rust.

Love helps me survive burying all hatred and rejuvenating the lost hope,

Hope paves way to delight immeasurable, making easier all sorrow to cope.

And then comes true joy, praying and seeing your success and prosperity,

Joys undiluted fill my heart and brimming with pride I endure life's strifes to eternity.

Ecstatic, exuberant I jump out of my bed, dancing, singing and humming a tune unknown,

Tempted I call you to share my joy, but you repeat the heartless phrase and in pain I moan.

I know you have broken up, but need you remind me and ask me to chill?

I know you have moved on, but time for me has come to a virtual standstill.

I feel like shaking you out of your complacence, make you see all I go through,

I feel like turning back time to find the lost W who once loved me so passionate and true.

Yes, I feel jealous when you say you're busy, yet find time to spend hours talking with girlfriends, late night,

Yes, announce me as possessive, rendering your life hellish and claustrophobic, justifying it as reason for leaving, enough and right.

I wish I could escape from all feelings for you, I wish my tears would stop flowing or dried,

I wish I found solace in my prayers to Almighty,

I wish God took pity and bid me eternal goodbye.

( Perhaps, a too impulsive poem with lil meaning...but couldn't help writing in my blog, moreso coz today morning as I left his house to came to office my heart grew too heavy... perhaps coz he's leaving for home today and we won't meet for long ... perhaps never again... if God wishes so... )

HAPPY B'DAY "BHAI"...SO YOU ARE AN ADULT NOW !!!

Time truly flies...I can't believe it my sweet lil brother is an adult....looking back I still can recall that day, so fresh in my memory, when I saw a clump of flesh so red and ugly lying peacefully beside my proud mom and smiling looking at my dad's face ... having enjoyed all the attention of my family for 6 long years, I couldn't bear to see someone taking my place. So, I grew into a jealous little girl and hating that innocent soul for no fault of his ... I remember pinching him hard with all my might to hurt him, but when he cried out loud I would feel bad,horrible,almost like a lil monster ... my dad would know it all but would never say anything or even attempt explaining that it was wrong to behave that way , instead would take me in his lap and tell me how precious I'm to all...Each time I did it and found dad bearing it all patiently , I would feel worse so much so that I soon stopped paying heed to the evil temptations ... Oh! soon I learnt to act like a matured elder sister taking pride in all that my lil brother did , advising him and burdening him with all my boring " gyan"(wisdom) when I felt he was not doing the right thing ,acting almost like a preacher ... I remember enjoying myself when my chubby brother would perform different acrobatic feats and all would break into a fit of laughter... I loved him the most when he learnt to recognise me by my name and began addressing me as "didi"(meaning elder sister) .

"18 years " of quarelling , fighting , loving , caring , and many more crazy times seems to have passed within the blinking of an eye .... So much has changed , yet so much remains the same( I'm glad)....My brother still has his amazing sense of humour and his witty remarks by which he would become the heart of a crowd in no time ... courtesy by practising it all on me as I always used to be the humble butt of all his silly jokes(precisely coz I've a terrible sense of humour, myself) ... He also used to sing popular bollywood numbers incorporating lyrics of his own with me(undoubtedly)and the stupid things I do, being the topic of all those songs . It used to make me so mad and all I could do is shout at him and if that didn't work , then complain to dad ... It was so hilarious seeing Mom getting worked up finding us exchanging words so harsh and hurting, words which we never meant and said only coz we wanted to prove we don't care about each other ( coz that's the way things are supposed to be when people fight ;-) . It was so hilarious when she would say she can't believe we spoke that way... One moment we would hate each other and pledge not to talk ever , say we can't stand to look at each other and take to different ways, while the very next moment we would have our hands around each other's neck, laughing at something funny on the T.V. or perhaps on mom and make her so wild.

Oh! the only time I could blackmail him and make him do all that I couldn't otherwise was when he had to submit his science and geography projects,which required him to do a lil bit of drawing , sketching and diagrams. He's too bad at drawing and I would take full advantage of this sole weakness of his and reign like a queen by charging a chocolate or an ice-cream for each drawing I made. He would curse me aloud but would have no way out but to part with his pocket money to have his work done. Ha!Ha!ha! ;-) ... Then there were times when he would come home with bad marks and make me swear not to tell it to mom and I would go and do just what I've been asked not to by saying it all to mom the very next moment and savour seeing him getting all the scolding ( that he deserves ) and then awaiting to bear the rage of my dad over his poor performance in academics.( I did it all not coz I hated him but coz I always desire to see my brother shine and reach the zenith of success,coz i know he has all the potential and talent for it all, that just needs to be well pruned )... I know he hated me at that time, but I'm also sure he loved me the same ( or perhaps more) when I defended him and spoke of his strength to strangers and outsiders who tried to make a passing comment on my brother carefree attitude and casual approach towards his studies.

True, blessed I am to have someone to share all those happy sad moments of my life and lucky are all those who have a peer at home. " Bhai " I wish I could let him know how much I miss all the teasing , him irritating me till I screamed my lungs out , almost to the point of making one go deaf ... I miss all his gossip about the pranks he played at school and how cleverly escaped being caught and punished ( oh! my intelligent brother ) ... Oh!how I would listen to him attentively and burst into peals of laughter... how he would make me laugh when I would be feeling all blue... Out here there's no one to fight or argue , though there are many to make me cry but non to say a 'sorry' and bring back that smile on my face... I know he misses me too.... he thinks it's not manly to give expression to one's emotion but the sweet sms' he sends me so often instead of the stupid ones show that atleast once in the whole busy schedule he misses out on all those golden days we shared but never realised till I left home... I know you had been looking forward to that 12 o clock call, with me wishing you a very Happy B'day... true you had lots of fun but hope you missed me as much as I did on this special day of yours... I still can't believe my brother has grown into a handsome young man ready to capture the hearts of all pretty looking dames ( are you still trying or have already conquered one ? ... long time since I was last updated about your crush ... who is it now? ... do let me know :-)

I hope you had a rocking time with lots of cards, gifts and friends and I hope you loved my gift too which I believe can look good on no one but you ( a lil bit of lying coz it was your B'day yesterday ;-) ... anyways dying to meet you my darling !

Hail To Thee : Womanizer !

So well you know the rules of the game, so well you've perfected the art,

Its astonishing what a genius you are in changing roles, to capture innumerable hearts.

With some you come as romantic, with some you're too flirtatious,

With some you talk of intellectual stuff, with some you're simply frivolous.

There are times when guys and gals give you missed calls or perhaps send a sweet long mail,

Guys you conveniently forget to respond to, but with gals you make sure you never fail.

Charmed by the look so innocent and bemused by your words, erudite,

They lie ensnared in the bait unaware, how short-lived will be all their delight.

Life to you means no commitment to relation, a life brimming with laughter and fun,

Unabashedly you deceive 'her' saying you're loyal, but which'her' you refer ?
- there lies the pun.

Soon the rules of the game will become redundant and the perfected art be stale,

How will you then captivate " my genius"? who will your name then hail?

P.S. This is specially written and dedicated to all those men who think they can take the fairer sex for a ride.

AN ANGEL BORN TO MY FAIRY SIS !!!

Guess what I got to know a lil while ago?... God gifted a lil angel to my sis...Oh!i can't believe it , or contain my excitement :-D I need to share it with all my friends, so here I am sharing my joy...Oh! how I feel like flying to her right now and touching those tender lil hand that might be as big as my lil finger...eyes as small as the bud of a flower...smiling the most innocent smile that I haven't come across for ages now...Oh!how badly I feel like taking my beautiful lil niece in my arms and showering her with all my love and affection...ecstatic as I feel now,I don't know what to do.
How ignorant the lil soul is of what happiness she has brought upon the world around her...I can imagine my sis' face glowing with happiness and pride :-) I've seen her face shine each time she spoke of her coming baby...Oh!I can gauge her happpiness must be now beyond all bound.
Didi and Jiya,I wish I could be there to be a part of joys so undulated :-( but never mind I'm sure I'm an important part of all the celebration !
3 CHEERS ! TO THE NEW BORN ANGEL. THIS POST GOES OUT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU :-D... and A very hearty congratulations to the new parents !

7 THINGS' LIST!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die !!!

1. Read all the good books available,atleast those that I, as a student of literature should (oh!I'm such a slow reader...wish someone could do all the reading and me the listening only:-)
2. Get my own caravan and travel around the globe on my own.(I love big cars which can accomodate all the necessities...a bed being on top of the list.he!he!)
3. Be the publishing head of a media house and thus keep alive the faith that my father has on my potential.( I love my dad coz he is my pillar of strength and confidence.)
4. Construct an old homage and take care of all those beautiful people who are left to suffer by their children.( I simply enjoy spending time with old people! )
5. Write a book on the infidelity of men.( You guys won't start hating me for it,will you...;-)
6. Visit Greece with W....coz that's our dream place( hope someday this dream comes true :-)
7. Grow more fair and attractive( coz too many guys here still suffer from white slavery and mistake fair complexion for good looks...pity them! )

7 Things You Can Do !!!

1. Stay without bathing or brushing from Monday to Friday( I guess this is a good way to be kicked out of one's company incase one hates his job and is not allowed to leave ;-) he!he!)
2. Finance my trip to Greece or Egypt(travelling is very expensive and I know you guys won't mind,would you ;-)
3. Yeh! cook me something yummy(coz I hate cooking)
4. Pamper me with soft toys each time you see me or hear from me( oh! call me a kid if you will but I won't stop watching cartoon network or pogo or stop loving soft toys...they are my loyal pals who never let me cry)
5. Starve for two days atleast(the more,the better)in a week.( don't worry that's a good way to lose weight ;-)
6. Take me to a musical or theatrical performance at Royal Albert Hall,London.
7. Bear up with my short temper and emotional outbursts at all time.

7 Things You Can't Do !!!

1. Sleeping for more than 5 hours a day( I hardly get to sleep for more than 6 hours after I moved into Bangalore...Oh!how I miss those leisure days in Kolkata)
2. Keep your eyes open while watching T.V. (don't you remember your mom's scolding you saying too much of T.V. is bad for your eyes? ;-)
3. Stop reading my blog and not bear all the crap I write ;-)
4. Claim Maria Sharapova or Annakornikova or even Sania Mirza as prettier than my Steffi (I refuse to believe there can be anyone who is more graceful or talented than her...she is theeeeeeeeee best !)
5. Give me long, boring lectures or show me attitude.(Most people nowadays think its cooooooooooool to have an attitude...think twice before you come up with it infront of me,you might think differently)
6. Wake me when I'm sleeping even if we are getting late for a movie or party.(zzzzzzzzzzzzzz! but wait patiently for me to wake up)
7. Call my brother cute,smart or witty in my presence( oh! how I hate people claiming him to be smarter than me...but guess can't help it coz he does have a great sense of humour :-)

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex !!!

1. Intelligence (someone from whom I can learn a lot...I hate dumb guys,who make you wanna say please shut up,I know more than you do!)
2. Great sense of humour (Its always fun to have them around ;-)
3. Self Confidence (that is what keeps you going despite all odds)
4. Ambitious (man with no ambition to me is no man at all...he is a coward)
5. Good manners
6. Possessive and caring nature (I enjoy being pampered ;-)
7. Short height (I seem to have a thing for short men)

7 Things I Say Most !!!

1. Nothing( I say this every two seconds,when someone asks me something that I don't feel like talking but don't know how to put it across )
2. Awright !
3. Don't Worry...
4. Listen!
5. Sick!
6. One tight slap
7. Oh!my God

7 Celebrity Crushes !!!

1. Rahul Dravid ( Oh! I simply love him coz of reasons many,the most important being his humble nature and consistency in his game...he's tooooooo good :-)
2. Tom Cruise (He's chooooooooo chweeeeeeeeet )
3. Aamir Khan ( He is one Indian actor with a difference)
4. Andre Agassi ( Eh!I like him anyways,bald or with long hair,he simply looks awesome...no doubt he has the most gorgeous lady as his partner)
5. Raul ( He is one soccer player whose game I cannot miss...though I'm not a great football fan)
6. Tom Hanks (he is another actor with loads of potential,a powerhouse)
7. Pranab Roy (Love his charisma...after all a bengali and that too in my field of interest )

Pooh!I'm exhausted. A really long list...now its your turn.he! he!

SMILE : COZ LIFE'S LOOKING BRIGHT AGAIN !!!

• One of my very close friend tied the sacred knot with her love, (whom she had been dating for 7 longs years...man!that's a long time) last sunday and she seemed to be on cloud nine coz she was finally married to her dream man. I'm soooooooooooo happy for her. I've another friend who will also tie the knots with the guy she has been in love for years together. Love's in the air and it seems to be the marriage season! Who knows you might get a bonanza offer, a few concessions... if you plan to get married this december? ;-)
  
• One of my colleagues got through the pretigious Indian Air Force exam and will be leaving us all to make his dream come true. I'm truly happy for him coz now his girlfriend's father can't shoooooooooo him out calling him a loser and he can ask for her hand ;-)
• Oh! I'm also very delighted at the thought that one of my other colleague has finally been successful in setting up a software of his own in collaboration with his two close buddies.
• I'm jumping with joy coz my aunt and uncle has come down from U.K. and am sure they've brought me many mmmmmmmmmmmm!yummy chocolates or perhaps softoys?;-)which I can find out only when I leave for home end of this month.
• I'm all gleeful coz my dad wants me to be home coz he's missing me and wants to pamper me and I'll let him do so. Heh!Heh!;-)
  
• I'm all excited and smiling from ear to ear coz I've landed with a new job of my liking :-D which involves a whole lot of responsibilities. Oh! I can't wait to be with the new company, it will be so much of fun. Yahoo! [but then I also feel sad coz I've to leave all my precious,caring friends and colleagues in my old company to whom I'm so emotionally attached coz this was my first job:-( ]
• Above all I'm happy coz my boyfriend(whether he considers me as his girlfriend or not) has made it to the round of interview in one of the prestigious M.B.A. institute in Paris..I knew he could make it.He is simply theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BEST :-)

Don't you think I've tooooooooo many reasons to be happy? I think I've too many reasons to smile, so no more wallowing in sorrow and loneliness(atleast I'll try hard!).

MY BLOG : A HUMBLE HOMAGE TO YOU

Life is sad, life is strange, life is brutal too,
But you, my blog have seen me through all my feelings, blue.


You've been the platform to vent out my feelings,
The place to make new friends.


You wiped my tears,you brought a smile,you gave me all the strength,
You understood and let me express emotions so crazy, at length .


You are my refuge, my haven of solace,
You are my friend so dear,
Life without you seems so empty that...
I need to see you everyday, near.



P.S.-A bad poem,but it doesn't matter... coz I know this blog has done me wonders.It is the reason to bring back that smile(sometimes) on my face that seemed to have been long forgotten.Thanks! to all you friends who have been with me through these times,so difficult to be all alone:-)

Burning questions!

Do you remember the time we spend hours talking to each other and shared our little big moments of happiness and despair?...now why don't you do so?...remember there was a time when we craved to be with each other and you went out of the way to be with me, that made me so happy?...why don't you feel the same way now?...there were times when we would stay awake all night talking, coz we missed each other so much,...now why don't you miss me even if we don't talk the whole day?...have you forgotten those days when you woke me early morning with your voice so full of sorrow and I was there listening and talking to you till I heard you smile again...what happened to your saying time and again you miss me so much and my heart ached to be with you?... before you used to complain when I was not expressive enough about my feelings for you,so loyal and true... now, why avoid me when I can't stop missing you and burst into tears,unable to speak but you hang up saying 'you're busy to take all those emotional stuff?'...before you used to console me,lend a shoulder to cry,now why do you ignore the tears when you do see it in my eyes?...Before you used to hang up on calls so important just to talk about stuff so trifle...but now you hang up on me to attend those calls that are not more than trivial...you write a poem on your friend (using the words you once said in such endearing manner to me) and shout it aloud in front of the world but, when you say you've written a poem on coffee,icecream and me, you feel strange claiming its for your girl?..perhaps I'm not your photocopy anymore,but I know you to the core...perhaps you understand I care but ignore it all...I know its stupid butI love you when you call me by names so silly and funny like "go.."."gar..","pig..",I love it all coz those are words of love to me,stirring emotions so strong....last but not the least,why do you say you don't want to get affected by my blogsite and not drop in to know a little bit of me in every bit of you?..do you know the answers bab..?

" LIFE IN OBLIVION... "

Unseen by you, I shed a drop of tear each day,
A tear of love, a tear of affection, a tear recollecting those sweet old days.

Unheard by you, I heave a deep sigh each minute,
A sigh of hope, a sigh of wish fulfillment, a sigh of what could have happened....
but is presently beyond imagination.

Unknown to you, I utter a thousand words through my silence,
Words of passion, words of compassion, words arising out of pain and delight.

Unfelt by you, I touched you a million times,
A tender touch of consolance, a warm hug of encouragement, or...
simply holding your hand for assurance.

Unseen, unheard, unfelt by you, I live a life of ' Oblivion '
And lost in the abyss of anonymity I spend the rest of my life.

HYPOCRISY,the other name for corporate world.

An incident that occured just yesterday in my organisation, opened my eyes wide to the dirty politics that is played in the name of fair play.Our organisation known for its fair treatment of employees and open environment is actually a sham,a mere hypocrisy. Its glory,its halo all dimmed in a moment's occurence.
It happened so that one of my colleagues,popular and well known for his high and mighty guts complained to the manager in-charge of our group,about the true picture. My colleague's effort to bring forth the injustice to his notice was well appreciated and was promised of necessary action. But, little did we know that the complaint could go to such proportion to make him the butt of ridicule, and the pose him as the culprit and the guilty,our group leader could be let off so easily with his dirty manipulative ways. I was shocked to the core when I found what lies beneath,the hard core reality. My face was red, and my eyes filled with tears out of rage for the management and sympathy for my fellow colleague who had to bear all the consequences for something he didn't do. The way he was pinned down through verbal repartee and baseless charges was a brutal blow to all the image I bore in my mind about the organisation, hailed high. It affected me so much that I could hardly gather myself even after the incident came to an end.
My colleagues, finding me in such condition, asked me to get a shock absorber and carry on life coz they claimed such is reality. They said I find it difficult to come to terms with it, coz its my first job in this dirty corporate world camouflaged in the guise of an angel. Perhaps they are true...but what disturbs me the most is that : will I be able to survive in this world, turn a blind eye to all injustice done and hold my silence? or stand up and revolt and meet with the same consequences?... The thought truly perturbs me.
Why this injustice,why this hypocrisy,why this politics in the name of fair play?...

GOODBYE FRIEND!!!

My journey in the new city called, Bangalore began on the 1st of September 2005,when I boarded off the train and looked around trying to make myself familiar with the surrouding. Finding me struggle with my luggage, I was assisted by my boyfriend into a nearby auto which zoomed us to my P.G. As I stepped into my P.G., 'amma', a middle aged lady in-charge of our P.G., showed me into the little room of mine. Changing into clean clothes, I slowly started unpacking my suitcases and stuffing it all in my cupboard.
Tired though I was, I left with my boyfriend for his house as he had to complete all the packing to shift over to his new house,very close to my PG.(a mere coincidence). After we moved into his beautiful house and unpacked his things, feeling extremely hungry we had a late lunch at a close by restaurant. In the evening when he left for his office, I returned back to my Paying guest house. Unlike the time when I moved into the place and found the rooms all locked and the place as peaceful as a graveyard, that time of the day it buzzed with noise created by the girls talking and laughing aloud on a joke cracked. Avoiding the eyes of all the girls seated in the drawing room watching t.v., and who turned their heads around to see the new face in the P.G. and whispered among themselves, I walked up straight into my room and remained in there till it was time for dinner.
As I walked to the dinner table to serve food to myself, one by one the p.g.mates introduced themselves to me and made me feel at home. Shy by nature, I took my time to open up and say things about myself and be friends with all. Yet,there was something I was searching for which came to an end the day I saw my beautiful friend,Sonia. Her grace and humble nature at once won my heart and I knew she was the one I was searching for so long. As she looked at me and smiled, my heart instantly knew that God had send her to me to be my " best friend" .
With the passage of time our frienship grew strong bonded by love,trust and respect for each other. Never being judgemental on my code of conduct, never failing to lend a shoulder to cry upon or be by my side when I needed her the most, knowing when I'm hurt and boosting me up with a warm hug, giving me space and never complaining when I took her for granted.... such has been my friend.
Sonia, it'll be so difficult,almost impossible to live here without you. You know, of late life has not been so kind to me and you have been my pillar of strength and helped me see through those tough days... I'm so used to your pampering, you calling me ' Ash ', 'oh shweeety! ', you flattering me by claiming time and again that I look so pretty; you,despite being younger to me always acting like my protective little sister and chiding or advising me when I seemed to lose control over life....oh! I'm goin to miss it all so much. Why do you need to go?why do you have to leave me alone here when you know you mean so much to me?You never believed me when I said that people whom I tend to love the most leave me and go away,so are you....now, who will bear with all my tantrums, accompany me to juice junction late at night, or sit patiently till late night listening to all my foolish acts or to bear my emotional outburst.
You are the only best thing that happened to me since I came here. You've seen my eyes swell having cried all night, you've seen me rolling on the floor with laughter, you praised me irrespective of me looking gorgeous(though not half as gorgeous as you),or ugly. Having met you, I've realised that its all a myth when one says its the number of years spend that ensures how close that friend is to one. I rather believe, it is the quality of time spent in each other's company and the emotional dependence which results in a lifetime friendship. Little time we may have spend together, yet each moment spend is a memory so pleasant and invaluable. Sonia, I'll truly miss you, so dare not forget me ;-) .

P.S. MAY SUCCESS BE YOURS IN EVERY STEP YOU TAKE.

" AN AMAZING WEEKEND "

PHOTO TAKEN DURING THOSE BYGONE HAPPY DAYS!!!

Last saturday me and my b... or rather me and my friend agreed upon having a little bit of fun.So we decided to go clubbing.My eyes glowed with delight and my happiness knew no bounds coz we were about to do something which we never tried before.Desirous of looking gorgeous,I wore my favourite blue top paired with a flowing blue skirt.Gorgeous I may try to be,but dashing did he look in a trendy party shirt worn with a pair of cool jeans.


At last we reached 'Athina',the disc at Leela Palace,Bangalore.Out there we were warmly welcomed with a new brand of vodka launched by Smirnoff.He quickly gulped it down in one shot,while I stood by his side all dazed as the trance like music played in the background.Then we finally took a seat in a quiet corner and checked the menu to order some food and drinks.Ater placing the order,we looked around and were awe struck by the beautiful decorof the place.The starter served looked yummy so,without wasting any time we began munching on it.Me being a very slow eater hardly managed to have much,while he enjoyed having his and my share at the same time.Having finished most of the starter,he laughed and teased me saying,'that's the advantage of eating fast'.Seeing him happy,a smile readily flashed on my face.


As night began to progress,people started pouring into the dance floor.Pretty dames wearing skimpy outfits looked ravishing and attracted the attention of all the Adams present there without a partner[fortunately I guess;-)].My friend too had a good time checking them out and I helped him spot the most gorgeous of dames there,if he happened to miss any.As the famous MTV V.J.,Nikhil Chinappa,started playing some foot tapping numbers,my friend pulled me onto the dance floor to accompany him.Excited as I was,I readily jumped out of my seat and began swaying my body to the music played.Always convinced that I'm a better dancer than him,he followed my steps and began to groove to th music played.My heart skipped a beat,when he moved closer to me with his arms around my waist and continued dancing.Even in the maddeningly loud music I could hear his heart beat and kept staring at his face so full of innocence.He looked so happy,his eyes reflected such brightness that I just couldn't stop myself from looking into his eyes,trying to search for the sign hidden somewhere there,that seemed to have revived again,a flame rekindled.I pinched myself hard to make myself believe that it's all true...this reminds me of one of my favourite numbers sung by Celine Dion.It goes like this - "If you touch me like this,if you hold me like that,......its all comiing back to me now...".It all seemed so good to be true.It seemed I was in my beautiful world of dreams where nothing can harm us or come between us.I wished hard that the night would never come to an end.But alas!it was time for us to leave and I heaved a deep sigh.Nonetheless,I felt estatic that all this magic happened in reality and went home with the memories which are so dear and precious to me now.


This sunday we had a great time together.In the morning we went out shopping then came back and he cooked delicious chicken for me which I shamelessly hogged on.Oh!it tasted toooooooooooo good(wish I could cook even half as good as him).Late at night,we went for this wonderful movie,"Things to do before you're thirty"....oh!it was so hilarious,we laughed our hearts out.The two days that we spent in each other's company was simply awesome.A weekend worth remembering for the days to come.

LOST IN YOUR THOUGHTS...

Its so strange that someone could have so much control over your thoughts and you let it be...its so strange that though he doesn't care it doesn't matter much,or perhaps not at all coz loving him makes you happy....his one call can make your day,his one smile helps you see through the toughest of days...his one word of encouragement is worth a thousand wonderful words people say about you...you still live life coz you feel there is someone you need to take care of...its so very strange that I feel this way though the feeling isn't strange at all...

A FAIRY TALE ... THAT DIDN'T END HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Once upon a time there lived in the " City Of Joy " a little girl who grew in the warmth of love,affection and care of her loving family.With the passage of years she bloomed into a beautiful,graceful lady who captured the heart of all men through her killing looks and her sublime smile.Beautiful though she was,flawless she was not.Shy by nature she had friends few.But gentle as she was,people loved her company. She lived and rejoiced in her world of dreams.Often she would wake up smiling ,dreaming of her handsome prince whom she never saw but was sure is there somewhere waiting for her to take her to some fantasy land,a valley of love.
At last that auspisious day arrived:the eighth day of the celebration of the deity of beauty,power and diminisher of all evil.Naive as she was she visited the much dreamt of fantasy land,where hearts are said to meet and one finds the love of their life.As divined by destiny,her prince charming was present to sweep her off her feet.As she glided along the fantasy land with her feet so tender,she fell a prey to the eyes of her prince charming.Looking resplendant in her attire,god of love'Cupid' struck him with the arrow of love.Approaching her with the eyes so drunk in love,he infected her with the same too.Instantly,her face glowed up with a smile so bright and won his heart forever.He too weaved his magic web and tra pped her by his endearing,charismatic way.Together they spent the best days of their life,the moments so precious and close to her heart.
Alas!it was time for the prince to return to his land " The IT City ",heavy as her heart was,she could utter no words.With her head hung low and tears flowing down her, not so red cheek ,she bid him goodbye.She patiently waited through those seasons of separation by reliving those wonderful days in her mind.Each time her most prized possession,her mobile rang her heart would start pounding fast and she would find it difficult to control her excitement.Those minutes over her prized possession soon became the source of joy.It was time for him to arrive again.Eager as he was,he flew to her in the flight of love which gradually gave way to a week of fiery romance.Engrossed she would be in listeneing to his conversation so interesting,and let herself be mesmerised.In his company time would fly in a blinking and soon it would be time for him to leave.
This continued for a whole two year,every year bringing loads of joy and happiness in its store.The princess being the apple of her father's eye,her happiness reflected on her face could no longer be hidden.So she finally confessed that life has never been so kind to her before with her prince having stepped into her life.The king met the love of her life and was content.Finally, it was time for her to bid her home goodbye and move into the land of her prince.Esctatic throughout the journey,dreaming of her world so new and beautiful she held his hand and entered into the land she often dreamt of.Little did she know this place would take all and give nothing in return except for pain and suffering.Life seemed so different,so very deceiving.To her heart's despair she found him so different,a change hard to associate with.She felt so distanced despite being so close, leaving her hopelessly possessive.Then came the worst part of all.
Out of the blue popped the goddess of discord,'Eris'.Camouflaged in her face so innnocent and words so sweet,she trapped her prince charming in her dangerous bait and without his knowledge poisoning him against the princess.Then came the day which she never thought could come.The prince flew into a fit of rage saying words so harsh,though never meant and leaving her forever.Good as he was,later he could neither ask for forgiveness nor forgive himself.Bruised his heart lay now and eyes that showed nothing short of pain.But wise as he was he knew things couldn't be the same again.Oh!Wondering what happened to the princess?
Lonely as she was in this new land of dreams that turned into a haven of nightmare,she coiled into her shell bearing the excrutiating pain,battling each day with a smile though her heart ached and bled.Bravely she still lives in the land that gave her so much pain coz she believes in her love,coz she's happy just living in the land that brought her the joy once that she once had only dreamt of.Though her fairy tale didn't end happily ever after,yet the journey to this land was worth a thousand precious moments...happy she lies lost in her world of dreams which could have come true,but didn't.

P.S. - this not so happy fairy tale occurred only a few months ago.

I LOVE MY INSANITY,I LOVE IT ALL...

My head's spinning,my heart's pounding fast,

Tears are trickling neither out of sadness or of pain,


There's a smile flashing on my face but no one to spread it around,



I feel like jumping,feel like laughing aloud, I pinch myslf hard and ask "Am I going crazy?"



I laugh even louder and say to myslf:"How does it matter?..



You relish the feeling,right?" and I stop asking myself.



I listen to my heart whispering something to me,



I don't know what,but it makes me feel ecstatic...



Oh! it seems I can touch the sky,I can trap the moon in my little palm



I've captured freedom?happiness?insanity? What is it?...



I don't know the answer and I don't intend to as well I love this feeling,whatever it may be.



I demand nothing out of life coz I feel I'm too rich , Life is a beggar it can neither take or give me anything,



I'll have what I want ,I'll do what I desire, You can't deprive me,you can't take away my happiness,no you can't.



Sorry you are not so powerful,I will listen to my heart,I will act crazy...



Coz I love being insane,and my heart reigns supreme.

WORLD THROUGH MY BLUE TINTED GLASSES

Oh!the collossal mass of blue enveloping me above,

The vast liquid blue shining resplendent in the moonlight.

A blue robbin on the tree humming a tune so sweet,

Sunlight pouring through the blue glass pane rendering the room so bright.

Calm as the cloudless blue sky or wild as the raging sea waves,

Harsh as the scorching sun or sweet as the robbin's song echoing iin the caves.

Blue is the colour of romance,blue is the colour of passion and serenity,

Blue is the colour that so perfectly defines me.